#and when is say i was teary eyed when my mum relayed this to me later. god. that kid

[irisbaggins]

Me: *explaining what it means to be trans in an easy-to-understand way*

My nine year old cousin, after half a second whilst focused on playing Fortnite: So you're like a Transformer! :D

Me, near tears: y-yeah :')

[nicolewoo]

Good News Pairing: Fergal Devitt X Reader Warning: Smut, Oral sex, masterbation, consentual sex, Sexual Content Language NSFW, slight BDSM (18+ only peeps) Do not interact if you’re under 18!

I stayed at the apartment to work as Ferg and Colby went to their afternoon physical therapy appointments. It was really great to see them getting along so well, although they tended to be worked up when they got home. My mind began wandering from my work to how to keep the boys busy when they got back. They were always so hyper after therapy that if they didn't do something physical like hiking or swimming, they got depressed. I figured today was a perfect day for a bike ride. I quickly called over to the bike rental place and reserved 3 bikes for 5 pm. That should be enough to keep them out of trouble.

Back to work. I've got to concentrate. I told myself, but my mind wouldn't focus, so I went out to the back porch for some fresh air. I couldn't have been out there for more than 5 minutes when a loud, rowdy knocking on the back window scared me. I looked up to see Fergal's face through the window all full of smiles. It was obvious he was so happy he couldn't stand still.

“You're early.....” I started as I came in the back door, but looking at Fergal and Colby, I realized something good was happening. Both of the guys were all smiles and energy.... plus they were hours early getting home. Ferg walked up, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me while he dipped me close to the floor. I squealed in surprise. “Babe....” He started to say.

It was then that I realized what was happening, “You're cleared?” I half asked and half said.

“Yes!” Ferg leaned in to kiss me again. He picked me up and spun me around in joy! “T'ere clearing me for Wrestlemania too!

Nothing in the world could have been better news to Fergal, and I was so happy. Wrestlemania.... the dream... his dream... since he was a child.... He had been cleared for his first Wrestlemania. When Ferg set me down, Colby came over and patted him on the shoulder, “This man is going to live out his dream!” He beamed.

“And you?” I asked Colby.

He was still smiling as he shook his head no, “But I've been to Wrestlemania before. This will be Ferg's first time. We need to celebrate!” he said as he went to the fridge and grabbed 2 bottles of beer. “Y/N?” he offered, but I declined. “Anyway, Doc gave me the rest of the day off to celebrate with you guys. What do you say we go to dinner? Ferg's choice. My treat.” He lifted his bottle to toast with Ferg's bottle.

“Well, If it's MY choice, I gotta go wit'......”

“Sushi” we all three said at the same time and broke down laughing.

True to form, they were hyper as could be, and the good news only made it worse. There was no way these guys were going to be able to wait until 5 pm for the bikes I rented, so I called and cancelled the reservation. Meanwhile, Colby made dinner reservations. The next step was for Fergal to tell his parents. It was late in Ireland, but luckily his parents were still awake. “Mum, Dad, I got cleared!” He chimed into the phone. He was skyping, but I stayed out of view. It was too early for a meet the parents call. His parents were ecstatic. Mum got a bit teary eyed and dad hollered loudly in joy. I left the room to give them their privacy and tried to focus on work, but it was no use. This afternoon was going to be a wash.

Colby came out as I packed up my files and computer. “I'm so happy for Ferg. He deserves this.” He said again, taking a big drink of his beer.

“He does,” I answered. “I want to thank you for helping him through this.”

Colby looked a bit surprised, “It's the least I could do, given....” He trailed off.

I waited a beat..... He said nothing..... “Given that you hurt him?” I questioned quietly. He hung his head a bit. “Colby,” I put my hand on his arm. “He doesn't blame you. I don't blame you. Nobody blames you. It was an accident... pure and simple.” He tentatively peeked up at me. “I mean it. I've seen that exact move done a thousand times, and nobody got injured. This one time he just landed wrong.”

“It's hard not to feel guilty.” He said.

I hadn't even noticed that Fergal had come into the room, “It was jus' an accident, mate. I'm not mad at ya. I keep tellin' ya that.” He called out from the door.

“Do you blame Kane for your knee injury?” I asked.

“No.” he was quick to answer, “but that was different. I fell wrong doing my move.... In Ferg's case...” He trailed off.

“In my case, it was exactly t'a same t'ing. I fell wrong. Ya got nuttin’ to feel bad 'bout.” he said slapping Colby on the shoulder harder than he needed too.

“Ok. Ok. Enough of that.” I changed the subject. “What are we going to do for the next few hours?” I asked.

“Lets go swimmin'” Ferg said.

Seth quickly agreed, but I was certainly not ready to be in a swimsuit around the two of them. “You should go. I need to do some more work.” Seth looked at the bag where I had just packed up my work and computer.

“I thought you were done,” He said.

Shit. “I just thought of something I forgot to do.” I lied.

It seemed to appease him, and he didn't ask any more about it. The boys changed into their swimming suits and headed to the apartment complex's pool. Once they were gone, I pulled out my work and tried to concentrate, but it didn't work. I opted to call some friends from home instead.

“Where are you?” Stacy's voice came through the phone.

“Girl, you're never going to believe me.” I said.

“You were supposed to be home days ago. I was getting worried.” She said.

“I sent you a text that I was staying longer. Didn't you get it?” I asked.

“Yes, but you said you'd call me and tell me why. That was three days ago. What's going on?” She urged.

“Stac..... If I could have anything in the world (aside from having Jake back), what would it be?”

She chuckled jokingly, “That wrestler you're crazy about... Frank, Fred.... what's his name? The one with the abs...”

“Finn....” I corrected and just waited for things to fall into place.  

“Wait!!! Is he? Is he THERE?” she hedged.

“You've missed a lot.” I joked.

“What's going on?” she prodded. “Wait! What was the meeting about? Did you get to meet Finn?”

I giggled like a giddy school girl. “Not only did I meet him, I'm in Alabama with him.”

She damn near screamed into the phone, “WHAT??? WHAT HAPPENED???”

It wasn't like her to get so excited, and I laughed again at her. “Let's start from the beginning.” I relayed the story to her... the dinner, how Fergal and I met, the instant attraction, the meeting with the McMahons, the job offer, the trip to Alabama.... all of it.

When I was done, there was nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. “Stacey, are you still there?” I asked.

“Yeah. Yeah.” She said. “I just... I don't know what to say. You're in love with him? And he's in love with you? Love at first sight?” she asked.

“We haven't said we love each other, but yes, I'm pretty sure he feels the same way I do.” It honestly was the first time I'd thought about if he loved me.

“So, you're just going to uproot your life and go on the road with him?” She asked with a disapproving tone.

“I am.” I said gently. “You know how miserable I've been since Jake passed. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I need to take it. I need to get away from that house, those memories. It's time for me to stop mourning and start living.”

She paused a second before continuing, “I haven't heard you so happy since Jake died,” she admitted. “And you're right, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'm just going to miss you so much.”

“Sweetie, I'll miss you too, but I'll still keep my house for us to visit when we are in St. Louis and we can Skype whenever we want,” I answered.

“I'm really happy for you though. So, is he everything you'd dreamed he would be?” Her voice took on a teasing tone.

“Yes. And more.” I admitted. “I feel as comfortable and happy as I was with Jake.”

“I'm so glad.” She replied.

We stayed talking on the phone for a while, discussing the ways that my life had changed and what my plans are for the future. We also talked about our church, her family and everything happening back home.

I was still on the phone when the boys got back. They were still rowdy. Colby was flicking Fergal with a wet towel as they walked over to me. Ferg bent over and kissed my forehead. “Who's on the phone,” he whispered.

“My best friend.”

“Hi best friend!” he yelled out.

Colby had to join in, “Hi best friend!” He yelled too. “Is she single?” Colby asked.

“No!” I whispered as I heard Stacey laughing.

“I'm going to let you go so you can get ready for dinner.” Stacey said. “Please call me in a couple of days.... don't leave me hanging here.”

“I promise. Things are changing so fast here, but I promise to keep you updated.”

Both of the guys had disappeared into their bedrooms. Once off the phone, I decided that if Fergal was showering, I should join him. As I guessed, I heard the shower when I entered the bedroom. I quickly stripped down and headed to the bathroom. Fergal was stepping out of the shower when I got there.

He looked me up and down, “What are ya doin'?” He cocked an eyebrow at me as he reached for a towel and started drying off.

“I was hoping for another shower with you.” I said.

“I'm done with my shower, luv” He teased. “But I wouldn't mind getting dirty again.” He reached out and pulled me closer to him. He laid a blazing hot kiss on my lips then trailed his mouth down to my neck. He kissed, sucked and nibbled his way from my ear down to my collarbone. His hands ran down my back and grabbed my ass gently. “Let me finish drying off. Why don't you go get started and I'll join you in a second?” He placed his hands on my shoulders, turned me around and playfully slapped my ass to push me to the bedroom.

“Get started?” I knew what he meant, but I was shocked at the request.

He wrapped his arms around my waist again. He pressed his wet chest against my back, and his semi hard penis grew as it touched my ass. Lowering his mouth to my ear, he ran his tongue over the shell for a second then seductively said, “You heard me right. Go touch yourself. I want to watch you please yourself.” I gasped slightly, but did as he requested.

I laid on the bed, feeling very exposed, but then I guess that was the whole point. I started with my nipples... twisting, gently pulling them, getting my nipples even harder than they already were. I looked over to see Fergal hanging his towel up and staring at me. He slowly walked into the bedroom, walked past the bed and grabbed a chair that was in the corner of the room. Once he turned back toward me, his eyes locked onto my hands. He watched me as he brought the chair to the end of the bed. His cock was fully erect now, and I wanted it. I wanted him, but he was going to make me wait. He placed his hand on my left foot and slowly, gently, he trailed his fingers up my body until he reached my hands. He grabbed me by the wrists and slowly dragged my hands down in between my legs. “Make yourself cum for me,” he growled as he sat in the chair he'd just moved.

I wasn't exactly comfortable being on display for him, but I couldn't deny it turned me on even more; especially because he looked at me hungrily.

I began slowly exploring my pussy, teasing the lips, dipping a finger inside to get wet then running my finger over my clit. I was awarded with a slow deep growl from Fergal. “You look so beautiful.” He said. “Keep going.”

At his prompting, I continued slowly circling my clit with my finger, and a moan escaped me. “Does t'at feel good?” Fergal asked, and I moaned again. I heard him move the chair closer. “Keep goin'” He added. “I wanna see ya make yourself cum.”

I continued teasing my clit, but I had to admit I was uncomfortable being on display like I was. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with putting on a show for him, but I wasn't used to this. He moaned as I slid two fingers inside me to caress my g-spot. The sound of it was so sensual. It spurred me on. I was close to cumming when he cleared his throat, “move your fingers back up to your clit, luv.” He rasped out. I knew I'd cum faster with the g-spot, but if he wanted me to cum by my clit, then he would get it.

My fingers returned to my bead and began quickly brushing over it. I was squirming now, wanting to cum, but unable to. I knew if I was going to cum, I was going to need to stop trying to be sexy for him and just be myself. With that, I curled my fingers and began scraping my nails over the sensitive spot. Another moan escaped me, and Fergal stood to get a better view. “My luv likes things a little rough, doesn't she?” he asked as he ran his hand up my thigh. It was then that I realized he was stroking himself in the same rhythm as me. That made me moan even more. “Do you want this?” Fergal said as he came around to my side of the bed and stroked his cock right beside my face. I couldn't talk now. I couldn't tell him how much I wanted him, but he saw my eyes pleading for him.

He climbed on the bed next to my head. “Open up. Get ready to suck my cock.” He ran his thumb over my bottom lip and pushed my mouth open. As he grazed my bottom lip with his cock, I reached my tongue out to lap up the pre-cum on his dick. He moaned at the contact and wrapped a hand around the back side of my head, gently pulling my mouth over his dick. He filled my mouth and moaned as he watched me please myself. “T'at's a good girl.” He praised as I began to suck hard. “T'at's a very good girl.”

He began to buck instinctively into my mouth just as I felt my orgasm begin to rip through my body. I immediately stopped moving my hand, and he pulled it away from my sex only to reach down and gently slap my clit. FUCK! He slapped it twice more, which extended my orgasm. I knew I wasn't doing any good at sucking him, but he didn't seem to care. My mouth was around him, and he was helping me cum even more.

As my orgasm was ending, I focused my attention to sucking his cock, and I expected him to let me, but he pulled away from me.

He moved to the end of the bed and sat back down in the chair. Wrapping his arms around my legs, he pulled me down so my pussy was lined up with the end of the bed. I moaned as he flicked his tongue over my clit then flattened his tongue to run it over my slit. The second time over, he allowed the tip of his tongue to slide inside me a little, and with each subsequent lick, he went deeper and deeper inside me. “I want you to cum for me again.” He whispered just before curling his tongue inside me and hitting my g-spot. His tongue was phenomenal, and each lick, each suck, each gentle nibble was moving me closer and closer to the edge again.

This man's mouth. I could live just for this man's mouth. I collapsed in a shaking moaning mess as he kissed his way up my body and easily pulled me up higher on the bed, burying his head in my neck and said, “T'at's my lass. Feel better now?” He sucked my earlobe as his hand played with my nipple. I moaned; unable to form words, and a shit eating grin spread across his face again. He adjusted his position and ran his hand to his dick to guide it inside me so slowly. It was excruciatingly slow. All I wanted was to cum again, but Fergal was going at his own pace. Slow steady strokes. The concentrated look on his face told me how difficult it was for him to keep the slow pace, but I had to admit it felt wonderful. He always felt wonderful.

He sat up and pulled my legs onto his shoulders, causing him to go deeper inside of me. He began to thrust faster and faster as his dick slammed into the back of my pussy. Faster and faster over and over until he grumbled out, “NOW!” my orgasm overtook me as he filled me with his hot cum. We didn't move for a minute. He stared at me, and I stared at him as we both came back to reality.

He collapsed next to me on the bed and wrapped his big arms around me. I ran my fingers sensually up and down his arm and tilted my head to lean against his. “Thank you.” was all I could say.

“No need ta t'ank me, luv. I should be t'ankin' you.” He smiled at me.

“No. I'm certain I got the better end of that deal.” I chuckled.

He paused for a second and said, “Can we agree to disagree?” He pecked me on the lips. “Now about that shower.....” His eyes glinted as he guided me out of the bed.

[sophie-zadeh]

A Secret Wedding, Concealed Emotions And A Bit Of Tomfoolery!

A Secret Wedding

Woohoo... earlier this month, I tied the knot! In secret. In a cave. With a picnic on the beach 'reception', just a few people present and a pizza feast later that night. 

I've never been a girly-girl, who dreamed of a fancy white wedding–in fact, I've always cringed at the thought. I don't like attention either. But more than that, I don't like the extravagance of weddings. To me, they always feel more about the wedding itself, rather than the marriage. And that feels wrong. Add to that the loss of my mum last year and I'm sure you can understand why we didn't want a traditional wedding. That's one reason we kept it secret–we didn't want it to turn into a big celebratory event and neither did we want our friends and family back in the UK to feel obliged to travel. The wedding was no big deal. But the marriage is a huge deal! 

I wish I could say we decided to get married in a cave because of the majestic backdrop- nature's cathedral. But that only occurred to me as I entered the cave. It was more about a private joke/desire between us–our ongoing desire to escape the world as we know it and live in a cave. Is anyone else as disillusioned with mankind as we are?

I wore my mums floaty, cotton, summer dress (and beads) from the 1980s. I remember her wearing it on our family holidays. By coincidence it was white–well, cream. I wore it with cave appropriate footwear–for once I ditched my heels. We didn't inform the cave office, we didn't hire a photographer, the only thing wedding-like was the presence of a Celebrant and the 'ceremony'. It was the perfect 'wedding'! 

Concealing Emotions

But let's get to the nitty-gritty, the reason we're here- the nonverbal cues and emotion. Whilst I'm emotionally sensitive and not afraid to show emotion, I'm also very good at emotional control. The ceremony was incredibly emotionally moving. Especially hearing Joanne (our Celebrant) relay what Lee, my about-to-be-husband, had written about me. One of our guests captured a photograph of my hand gravitating to my heart as I listened intently. While Joanne admitted she was trying to bring me to tears, the emotion I was trying to control was excitement. I felt giddy with it–thrilled to be marrying such an incredible and loving person. At that point, there were no tears to be had from me.

At the same time, Lee had just heard what I'd written about him. Teary-eyed, his hand disappeared into his pocket as he tried to conceal his emotion. An emotional soul, no matter how hard he tried, those tears of overwhelming emotion were sure to leak out. 

As we were about to give each other our rings, Joanne asked what words we'd like each other to hear, when looking at the rings, in the future, should we ever be inadvertently parted. The example she gave was if one of us was lost somewhere. But all I could think of was death. All I could feel was sadness. I tried to conceal it, laughing it off with an exaggerated claim that Lee getting lost was a regular occurrence. When the truth is, once he got semi-lost in the bush while on a trail run. Though I'm not lying when I say that each time he goes for a run, I worry that he will get lost in the bush.

An introvert's nightmare to come up with something deep and meaningful, without days–or weeks–of prior reflection on life, love and death, I let Lee go first to buy myself some time.

Lip Purse

Whilst working out what to say and still trying to control his emotion, Lee pursed his lips to the side. When we do this we're thinking of an alternative, so I assumed he had two ideas in his head and he was toying with which one to give. I was wrong. He told me later that he was trying to hold back his emotion, so he could compose himself to speak. The 'alternative' was an emotion. Much in the same way that I displayed the expression when trying to control my emotion/compose myself when I lost my mum–I wrote about that experience here.  

Lee's words were all about us forever being best friends. Mine, after buying myself time to think, were, "I need more time to think about this, or I'll forever regret what I said". Two weeks later, on a lazy Sunday morning, I cried as I told Lee what the ring meant–should we ever be 'parted'...

That we weren't truly apart because we'd become a part of each other, living on within each other. Knowing what each other would say, do, or joke about in the moment of different situations. Being in each other's head.

I'd pretty much settled on that the day of the wedding, but it took two weeks to decide they really were the right words–should we ever be parted. Ironically, whilst writing that just now, I became emotional and found myself doing a lip purse, so that I could compose myself enough to finish writing. But before I finish, let me leave you with one more nonverbal cue from the day...

Tomfoolery

The Tongue Jut 😛😝😜🤪

Whilst looking through our photos for this post, I found an example of Lee doing a tongue jut, shortly after signing the marriage certificate. I thought I'd share it, albeit a little grainy and difficult to see. Typically, we do this when either we: feel we've got away with something, just been caught or made a mistake. We sometimes display this nonverbal cue to others deliberately–as in the image below. Often, we'll raise our eyebrows at the same time to draw attention to it. Or, we inadvertently display it, leaking our emotion- as I mentioned in this post about Trump.  

While the tongue jut isn't too common to observe, Lee does it quite a lot, whilst fooling around–often. I don't remember what the circumstances were in this case, but knowing Lee, he would have just made a funny remark. I have another example of him doing this, caught on video when we were dating- I'd asked him to "lie to me". He'd just made up a ridiculous lie and then said this...

While I talk about the nonverbal cues of deception detection a lot, I don't want to understate the importance of observing and understanding the nonverbal cues we can observe in everyday life. Because, even empathy, has to start with recognition of emotion. I hope that the bits and pieces you learn about nonverbal communication, from my blog, empowers you to have greater insight into the emotions of the people close to you. So that you can better respond to their needs. 

Learn • Develop • Improve

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